Coffeehouse Observation No. 360 – Well, aren’t you Mr. Highsocks

You missed it! Guy just walked into a Starbucks in north Stockton wearing T-shirt, shorts, running shoes … and knee-high black socks. It was a fashion statement, I think. … Too quick for a photo, I’m afraid. … But there are some things that you simply cannot un-see.

Published in: on September 27, 2014 at 10:30 am  Leave a Comment  
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Coffeehouse observation No. 340 – How much is too much, er, Bebe?

How much is too much? Especially when it comes to designer crap, er, I mean, designer clothing. A woman is sitting out on the coffeehouse patio and she’s wearing a besparkled black Bebe baseball cap, a besparkled black Bebe tank top, and besparkled black Bebe flip-flops. … But at least she’s sitting with a woman wearing a Sick Puppies T-shirt. Bebe’s friend has her priorities straight – rock over Bebe.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 339 – Return of the housecoat

I was standing in line at the post office Tuesday when a woman walked in wearing slippers, white tube socks, a house coat – yep, they still make ’em – and a hairnet. She came in, dropped off her envelopes and shuffled out the door. Walking to the coffeehouse today, I spotted her. This time she was wearing a floral print dress that was probably made during the Kennedy administration. As I approached, she moved to her right as far as she could to avoid being within 20 feet of me. ‎… I’m struggling to find the normal in all this. But then again, it is Stockton.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 327 – Capt. Stubing to the Lido Deck, please …

Guy just walked into the coffeehouse wearing a white shirt with epaulettes, navy pants … and what appear to be two-tone golf shoes. Yeah, FootJoys. This guy doesn’t know whether to go to the Lido Deck or the links. … But in his defense, the epaulettes are a nice touch.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 316 – Sweatpants as a fashion statement

Sweatpants are sweatpants, even if they have pockets and you wear them with a nice shirt. … I’m just sayin’. … I suppose I should mention that to the guy who just walked into the coffeehouse, but I’m not sure he would change his wardrobe or sense of fashion style.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 315 – This guy is trying too hard

OK, a beret and long hair tied in a ponytail? Really? This bozo is really trying too hard to fit in at the coffeehouse.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 308 – Girl, you got a panda on your head

There’s a woman in the coffeehouse wearing a panda bear head-hat. … Why? Seriously, why?

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Coffeehouse observation No. 280 — Madhatter returns to the coffeehouse

The guy who wore a Seussian hat at Christmas is back in the coffeehouse with an Uncle Sam-like St. Paddy’s Day hat. What kind of a wild, crazy haberdashery does this guy visit?! This guy must be the modern-day Madhatter!

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Coffeehouse observation No. 278

A girl and her father just walked in. She’s wearing a knit kitten hat, yellow shirt, tights and tutu, and knee-high boots. It’s gonna be THE look for spring. … I’d ask to take a photo, but he’s twice my size and wearing a sweatshirt with “PAGAN” on the back. I think I’ll pass on the photo.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 274

You don’t see this very often – a guy just walked into the coffeehouse wearing a derby. Yep, derby hat, T-shirt, shorts, gloves and running shoes. If you hadn’t heard, Stockton is the fashion capital of, well, nowhere.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 273

Yesterday, I spotted a guy walking down my street playing a banjo. Today, a guy with a faux buffalo head hat – complete with antlers horns – just walked by the coffeehouse. There really is something in the Stockton water. It might be booze.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 268

I was saying the other day how you just do not see Greek fisherman hats anymore. Weeeeellll, I’m sitting in my backup coffeehouse and in walk two women and both are wearing – wait for it – Greek fisherman hats! Makes my day!

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Coffeehouse observation No. 246

OK, should I be freaked out? Two — one, two — Seussian Christmas hats in the coffeehouse. And they are between me and the door. I’m dooooooomed! … I wonder if it’s some sort of lodge hat. And if they’ll slip and do the secret handshake in public.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 240

The guy with the Seussian Christmas hat is back!

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Coffeehouse observation No. 235

They just lighted the propane heater on the coffeehouse patio. That wouldn’t be much of a problem, except the guy who torched it is wearing a Seussian Christmas hat. Something HAS to go wrong.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 230

I’ve been trying to be good by not pointing out all of the oddities at the coffeehouse, but … a guy just walked in wearing a motorcycle helmet, leathers and clogs. Yes, clogs. Is it just me or do clogs sort of fit in the one-of-these-things-is-not-like-the-others category? Clogs? Really?

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Coffeehouse observation No. 209

I just spotted a guy a little while ago walking down the street outside the coffeehouse – white T-shirt, khaki shorts, black shoes, black socks … and DayGlo orange hunting cap. I should have expected something like this, I suppose. Oh, and now there is a guy sitting outside the coffeehouse wearing a T-shirt that reads “Antihero.” … I really need to get out of this town.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 200

I’m not a fashion maven, but some people should NOT wear those low-rise pants. I’m sitting in the empresso coffeehouse and there’s a young woman here showing the world her plumber’s crack. And I don’t think she even realizes it.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 164

Stockton, you never fail to dazzle and amaze. … A man in his 60s or 70s just walked into the coffeehouse wearing a very short skirt. And, no, it in no way resembled a kilt. … He looks a little bit like Walter Matthau.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 154

I was sitting in Exotic Java and a guy came in wearing shoes with Velcro and he wasn’t a toddler or 65 or older. Is that legal in California?!

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