Coffeehouse observation No. 146

A teenager walked into the coffeehouse a little while ago carrying yellow roses and accompanied by three buddies. A little later, two teen girls came in. One of them received the roses. The guy and the girl are sitting on the couch hugging and chatting. The buddies and the girl who did not receive the roses are now sitting around a nearby table not talking because they did know each other before arriving at the coffeehouse. Is this what teenage dating has become? Yellow roses, teenage chatter, and the wingmen – and wingwoman – left in uncomfortable silence?

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Coffeehouse observation No. 145

Wonders why a man in his mid- to late-50s seems compelled to loudly slurp his iced beverage every single time he’s in the coffeehouse. Every. Single. Time.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 144

Just spotted a guy outside the coffeehouse take a yard-long stick, scrape up something gooey from the sidewalk, and stare at it for minutes with an expression of total pleasure and wonderment on his face.  Imagine, bliss found in discarded gum at the end of a stick.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 143

It’s bright and sunny out for the first time in years – or so it seems. I’m inside a nice cool, dim coffeehouse enjoying a Red Eye before continuing the job search. Have a lovely Memorial Day weekend everyone. … And don’t forget that this weekend is to remember those who have fallen in defense of this country. It’s not just about burgers and hot dogs.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 142

The words “free golf” may be the only two-word combo that is better than “free coffee.” But I had free coffee two days in a row. That may not beat free golf, but it’s not bad!

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Coffeehouse observation No. 141

The guy at the next table at the coffeehouse has an interesting collection of tattoos, including the word “HOPE” across the knuckles of his left hand and “LOVE” across the knuckles of his right hand. I suppose that’s a bit of tough love and hope.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 140

I’m sitting at a booth table at Exotic Java and on the couches near the large front windows are two guys in their mid-30s to mid-40s – I’m guessing from their conversation that they work in construction or something similar – and every other word out one guy’s mouth is @#$% this and %$#@ that.

I used to curse like a stevedore when I thought it added something to the conversation. And even when I knew it didn’t. I now feel that in almost every case cursing isn’t really necessary. Except maybe in golf and when you stub your toe getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Then it’s OK.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 139

Ah, coffee. That aroma. That deep brown steamy liquid comfort. That flavor. That POW to the senses. Coffee, you are the perfect elixir.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 138

From my perch at empresso, the Miracle Mile coffeehouse I frequent, I can see several laptops open and Facebook on the screen, several other people texting on cellphones, some talking on cellphones, a professorly gentleman wearing suspenders and smoking a pipe, several people reading books – yes, books – a group chatting, and a fellow strumming a guitar. It’s a coffeehouse, all right.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 137

Surprising how busy the coffeehouse has been all day. Lines for beverages, hot and cold, and the weather is sunny and bright outside. Granted, it is a bit windy, but quite nice.

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Looking back at ‘Emerald Kingdom invades’

I was a newspaper columnist in Vacaville, Calif., years ago and wrote about an invading force from the north. Of course, it was a weakly veiled reference to Starbucks. This is part of that column that appeared March 24, 2004, in The Reporter, the newspaper in Vacaville, which holds the copyright.

Emerald Kingdom invades

Ye fair citizens of Vacaville, am I the only one who has noticed that we are under attack!

The invasion began a few years hence. Knights from the Emerald Kingdom to the north came wearing bright green tunics with a medallion at the center depicting the kingdom’s queen. They spoke a strange, new language of venti and laite and Frappucciono. Even today the language baffles the mind and twists the tongue.

These knights – warriors of all shapes and sizes, but mostly youthful – wield no swords or pikes. No, they brought with them a more sinister weapon – caffeinated drinks – and devices with which to amalgamate caffeinated drinks. And pastries, yes, they brought pastries, too.

Later they brought their wares to markets and there anyone could barter for a bag o’ beans and partake of the caffeinated drinks in the comfort of their own castle.

And with these tools the warriors from the Emerald Kingdom continued their worldwide conquest. Today, in Vacaville alone, the Emerald Kingdom has at least seven strongholds: one on Nut Tree Parkway near Helen Power Drive; another on Davis Street a few blocks south of Mason Street; one each in two grocery stores of the same chain, with another to open in a rival grocery store; another in a neighboring discount department store; and a drive-through version on Alamo Drive at Butcher Road, where a person can fill up their car with gas, get it washed, grab a grande double-shot mocha, and pick up some cornnuts, all in one stop.

I admit that I have somewhat succumb to the caffeinated drinks – some concoctions of which certainly must be the work of witchery – and the somewhat contrived atmosphere of the Emerald Kingdom strongholds. It does a soul good to sit in the out-of-doors sipping a caffeinated drink.

But I do wonder when the quest for world domination will end. Or if it will end on this planet. Imagine a kiosk of the Emerald Kingdom awaiting astronauts to arrive on Mars.

I think I need a caffeinated drink. And now.

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Whoopie for whoopie pies, that great New England treat

[Coffee is great with whoopie pies. Trust me on this one. –KM]

Published in: on May 23, 2010 at 12:56 pm  Comments (2)  
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Affidavit: Affair led to arson at topless cafe in Maine | The Portland Press Herald / Maine Sunday Telegram

Affidavit: Affair led to arson at topless cafe | The Portland Press Herald / Maine Sunday Telegram.

Coffeehouse observation No. 136

I didn’t overhear this at the coffeehouse, but spotted it in a Facebook chain: “My blood type this morning is coffee positive.” I love that!

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Coffeehouse observation No. 135

The empresso proprietors let local artists hang art for sale in the coffeehouse. Some of it is not, um, Monet. But something new today. An artist hung six painted skateboards and I like them.

I’ve never been a skateboarder, but I’m guessing these boards are not intended for use as a mode of transportation and aerial stunts. I would hang one or two of them. I’ll try to post a photo of them if I get a chance.

From left to right, subject matter includes:

A woman in a bikini with some of the board cut away where her hair is flowing; a Kingpin; AC/DC; John “The Duke” Wayne; an Aztec or other similar image with the edge of the board cut out; and a red, white and black board with the coffeehouse’s name and logo on it.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 134

I just spotted a woman crossing the street near empresso and she was wearing a sombrero. … A very large and very colorful sombrero. Go figure!

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Coffeehouse observation No. 133

There’s a guy sitting on the empresso patio and he’s rockin’ out. Big time. Except, there is no music. None. He’s either hyped way, way up on something or … yeah, he’s hyped up on somethin’. … Oh, Stockton, you never fail to entertain.

Go to Coffeehouse Observer for more coffeehouse observations.

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Man accused in Maine topless coffeeshop arson extradited | The Portland Press Herald / Maine Sunday Telegram

Topless-shop arson suspect extradited | The Portland Press Herald / Maine Sunday Telegram.

Coffeehouse observation No. 132

Bold coffee and loud Rolling Stones – only way to start the day.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 131

Warmer weather means lovely coffeehouse patrons wearing short shorts and sundresses.

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