Coffeehouse observation No. 325 – Suffering the indignity of a baby stroller
I just spotted a woman pushing a Chihuahua in a baby stroller. I can’t decide if that is an indignity or just makes the little rat-dog lucky.
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Coffeehouse observation No. 324 – A mermaid ashtray? Really?
This is something new. There’s a guy sitting on the coffeehouse patio with his own ashtray – a topless mermaid with a clamshell in her lap serving as the actual ashtray. … She’s looking away from him as if she’s pissed or something. … I suppose if someone was throwing cigarette ashes in my lap I’d be pissed, too.
All rights reserved by Keith Michaud ©
Coffeehouse observation No. 322 – Nice threads, buddy!
The guy who was sitting on the couch next to my table was wearing a great tropical shirt! Palm trees, dugout canoes, grass shacks, bright colors, perfect. I’d ask him about it but his mommy just rolled him out of the coffeehouse in his stroller. He’s a toddler.
All rights reserved by Keith Michaud ©
Coffeehouse observation No. 302 – Cigarettes to make breath minty fresh … or mints to make breath ashtray unfresh
A woman is sitting outside the coffeehouse and she just pulled a cigarette from an Altoid’s tin. Sort of like mints to make your breath smell like an ashtray.
Coffeehouse observation No. 287 – For a coffee experience that is out of this world
Follow this link to a coffee experience that is out of this world. No, seriously.
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1949271
Coffeehouse observation No. 285 – What a depressing suggestion
I noticed a sign on the way back from the coffeehouse yesterday. It read: “Hope for depression.” Below it was a number for “more details.” I’m not sure if the “more details” would be about getting help to cope with depression or if the sign is some wildly sadistic suggestion. I mean, who would hope to become depressed?
Depression is dangerous stuff. There is help for people suffering through depression. Seek help from a mental health expert if you or a family member is experiencing depression.
Coffeehouse observation No. 283 — A little off-color humor
As past visitors will recall, I have worked in the past as a writer and editor for. Some of the things said in a newsroom are pretty off color. Funny, but off color. So, on Facebook I clicked “Like” for Overheard in the Newsroom, which distributes some funny and off-the-wall things said in the newsroom. This one happened to include a reference to coffee.
Multimedia editor: “Iced coffee is like sex with a condom.”
See, off color. Funny, but off color.
Coffeehouse observation No. 280 — Madhatter returns to the coffeehouse
The guy who wore a Seussian hat at Christmas is back in the coffeehouse with an Uncle Sam-like St. Paddy’s Day hat. What kind of a wild, crazy haberdashery does this guy visit?! This guy must be the modern-day Madhatter!
Coffeehouse observation No. 273
Yesterday, I spotted a guy walking down my street playing a banjo. Today, a guy with a faux buffalo head hat – complete with antlers horns – just walked by the coffeehouse. There really is something in the Stockton water. It might be booze.
Coffeehouse observation No. 271
Good God! Panic in the coffeehouse! The WiFi went down for a whole five minutes! Emergency services very nearly had to be called! But things are back to normal, whatever “normal” is now.
Coffeehouse observation No. 268
I was saying the other day how you just do not see Greek fisherman hats anymore. Weeeeellll, I’m sitting in my backup coffeehouse and in walk two women and both are wearing – wait for it – Greek fisherman hats! Makes my day!
Coffeehouse observation No. 266
A woman just walked into Exotic Java and talked as if she had been sucking down helium! I swear to the coffee gods that she talked as if she was a cartoon character.
Coffeehouse observation No. 265
I might be hanging out at the coffeehouse a bit too much. A guy just came up to me and asked: “Do you work here? You look like you work here.” … Yeeeah, I might be at the library a bit more from now on.
Coffeehouse observation No. 263
Two women just walked into the coffeehouse with balloon flowers. What type of soil do you use for balloon flowers, anyway? Full sun or shade? How often do you water balloon flowers? I’m not gonna even ask about balloon flower food. …
Coffeehouse observation No. 260
Forgetting that you’ve fully opened your coffee mug can lead to coffee on your chin and the front of your shirt. I know these things, because they happen to me! Why, oh, why? …
Coffeehouse observation No. 258
I think the WordPress metrics must have gone a little haywire yesterday. It registered 302 visits to my Coffeehouse Observer blog yesterday. That’s pretty good for a tiny blog I barely promote, but I’m not letting my head swell. Before yesterday, the blog metrics registered about 1,366 visits in the entire year since I started commenting on the things I see in the coffeehouse. I have no illusions that somehow the world suddenly “discovered” Coffeehouse Observer. It must be a glitch. But a fun one.
Coffeehouse observation No. 235
They just lighted the propane heater on the coffeehouse patio. That wouldn’t be much of a problem, except the guy who torched it is wearing a Seussian Christmas hat. Something HAS to go wrong.
